Dad called and told me to go check the sunset
what do you get if you cross a sheep and a porcupine?
an animal that knits his own sweaters
this is my friend Luci. She laughs really hard at her own jokes
I am extremely funny okay
Research stations of Antarctica in BBC’s Frozen Planet
waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
waitress: sir please stop cyring
me to all my friends: YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
me to myself: you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours